Perhaps we are mushrooms

And perhaps we are mushrooms 

I the wild one, the poisonous
You the edible proper-cut

and together
become the blooming cloud

first beautiful
then destructive.

photo source theguardian.com

- goodnight kiss ( 2005 )

This is hard... what we do... sleeping here with Mommy and at home with you...

      What would make it better sweetheart?

Sleeping at home with you and Mommy

      I don't think that's going to happen anymore

You mean we have to do this forever?!

      Yeah,    I think so...   ( kiss ) / I love you - bye-bye.

( and in that simplequick moment

IT hit!

and i struggled to

swallow the

spit

that collected the

tear from her

cheek

and it fell like

napalm

over every

cell

of my

gut

and i remember

crying long

and hard

that whole

night

it was a
death
of uncertain magnitude; but
a death
morethanless

and there are still
embers
burning )

- for my daughters ( jan, 2004 )

( realizing divorce was imminent )

What spares my heart

from the worst of All

these mangled moments,

What prevents another

torrid tear from

scarring my cheek,

What warms my soul

as now it hovers

in an arctic space...

The two of You!

My existence defined

& held in place!

Senses of Home ( 2004 )

The sight of your eyes waking up

next to me

And two angelic faces

sleeping peacefully

As morning breaks into the room

constant & controlled

I see the things I love the most...

A sense of being Home

Hear the slaps of little feet

Pure laughter in its' prime

Touch a hand that reaches out

to follow or to guide

Smell a candle's reason to burn

A breeze that blows a wish

Taste the courage of apologies

The comforts of forgiveness

This is Home

A Family's Soul

Invisible & connected

This is Home

Like Faith & Love

Intangible & collected

Find Us here

The threads are sewn

and every round is tight

Find Us here

Where Goodness grows

We rest our heads each night.

- just wurdz

wurdz, wherds, or... words

crunchy little creatures on the midnight floor

scampering for the cracks while

hunting them down

soggy piles of dogshit

random across the backyard

through toes squish a barefoot search

warm delivery of foul sense and disgust

the falling rain, the gathering many

onslaught variation of varying variables

directionless movements of miscible motives

grasped in hand only to surface the splatter

when all eye want is won or a phew

or a lump sum some that almost make cents

When ICU

When i see beauty walk

through the door
and pause a minute slowly to
throw back her hair
like this
or
like that
... you know how i crumble!
how like a soft soldier i
fake a quick death
and rise again slowly
when the enemy's been cheated
and swallow deep breaths of
shallow despair...
when i see beauty walk
through the door
and pause a minute slowly to
throw back her hair.

- chasing tiny squares with whiskey

i came to my senses when the drug kicked in
   an explosion
   each minute was a day in new sin

   & vomit is a
material decay -  old discard

   it's not often i do it
but when it happens... it's necessary

drugs make a heaven

of slow

hell

&

a hell

of

quick

heaven

.

(written sometime in the 90's... can't really remember)

Cradled

I love you...

not the way love makes you

run &

jump &

sing

& say that you can do

anything

no

i love you in a silence

that cradles the heart

engulfs the soul.

A Perfect Flame

Novocaine

No one i dare miss

more than this

that solemn kiss

that novocaine kiss

that rapture

so to envenom my soul

that solemn whole

that novocaine kiss

weird, cross-eyed, squandered looks

through rooms of purple

dazed confusion

familiar squeeze-eyed

slanted crooks

& cross-eyed looks

that novocaine kiss

so to envenom my one-eyed soul

that deepest whole

that novocaine kiss

and you that i miss

through the best of this

this one-eyed bliss

that novocaine kiss

the best of this

that so envenoms my soul

this one-eyed whole

the sweet caress

that so enlists

the best of this

cannot but touch

your novocaine kiss.

photo source brianbrownewalker.com

The Question

      Dreamland

      Frontiers of romance

      Flesh fills the skin

      Taste on tongue

      Smells

      Sweat drools a river from the neck

                down

                around

      Collects in pools

                & spills

                overflowing

      Eyes flicker

                fall backward

                dig ahead

      Pulling hair

    Kiss

   Feel

 Hold

Breathe me...

she smoked a cigarette

& i stared into space

 " could i ever have been more to you than this? "

- Spring again

" In moments of darkness and pain

remember ALL is cyclical.

Sit quietly behind your wooden door:

Spring will come again."

- Loy Ching Yuen

( from THE ESSENTIAL MYSTICS )

Now dow

               n,

a bre!ak...

pale light chars the wroomb...

How i have w.a..i.t...e.d for your

lips 2part!

               or the

steel::::frenzy

of?guessing ?

                     ?

                   ?

           ?

                 leaves me a

                 leaf

                 leaves me the sound

                 of someone

                 coming

                 leaves me a

                 dream

of Spring

again.

(5-7-5)

the waters ripple

for wind must behave as wind

below, all is calm

nerdy sex alittle

wallflower

boy in the corner

she came up next to me

and said - whisper something

 i said - entropy

looking confused, she,

i, full of sweats, we,

she leaned in closer 

and said - tell me more

 i said - i’m wobbling ellipsoidaly

now intrigued 

with touchy intent

and narrowing eyes

she begged - say it stronger

 i gritted - india

               whiskey alpha november tango

               yankee oscar uniform!

and she screamed - o god man

                             commingle with me

                             at awkward angles

                             take me!

(5-7-5)

exiled heart beating

eyes no longer inviting

live to love again

dreaming Utah

i keep dreaming Utah

like a body undiscovered

dressed in poetry's raw desire

to lust and love the same

i keep dreaming Utah

like a sexual position

like a heart-to-heart collision

with a woman i can’t contain

you had your trigger warning

while choking on the fluids of birth

struggling for that first breath

its called life

consider yourself warned

No Evidence

I don't know how I found you,
I left no evidence on the 
road to look back on

I've arrived here broken
& partially torn apart
but my heart's still beating
& my skin's still warm

I am weak & I'm hungry,
I thirst & I hurt,
I ache for the Completeness of
good pure love

I don't know how I found you
but I'm here,
I am here...

                    My final destination
                    after all these
                    weary years.

Patience

The Whiskey-Bitch

She slipped into the room like a

naked secret

searching for the comfortable camouflage

of a lie...

But slowly

, the whispers

, the bre/

             ak of conver
sa  tions

and slowly

, the unified melody of gossip

Each eye threw a dart, Each

mouth spit glass shards

at her feet, Each

smirk feigned a smile

i'm glad i don't know her

like that,

like they do

that rude whiskey-bitch is

a good friend

of mine.

it's that simple

Afterglow

A candle begins its' flame by

the touch of fire

That 1st sign of life that

warms the wick

A soft exchange

A brighter flame

Like the afterglow of Love's

first kiss.

photo by Ryan McGinley - toomanykisses.com

The flood

All my love lie fast asleep -

A kiss began the undertow

for I would not allow those lips

the slightest chance to act their own...

So all my love began to sigh

as deep as any sea-borne breeze

as gentle as the changing tide

obeys the moon but longs to seize...

Now all my love amalgamous

The Desert and the Arctic Field

Empyrean and Judecca

Reality and Dream...

When all my love has tumbled-in

and energies obey the flood

A whisper in my lover's ear

of promises unspoken.

hooked / gaffed / weighed / measured

droppings for the chum bucket

Those Shared

Those kisses

Those incredible nights of

music

Those touches

Those slow inflamed

palpitations

Those moans

Those penetrated grunts of

lust

Those have been shared

& these are

those

that are

DAMNED

!

... i could rip you to pieces

   & spread you around

   on the ground

   But i care too much

   for the dirt

   below ...

leprotic neurotic

his entire world is an open wound

that just won’t heal

a rebellious killzone

he picks at flesh

and picks at flesh

and picks

and picks

priming the surface for

a soft landing of

stealth infection

his entire world is the vibrant speed

of rude disease

a crafty contagion

he just won’t heal

enough to scab

he just won’t heal

he won’t

nonsensical poeming poemation

poem a poem about poeming,

poem poemy words into poemful poemaphors,

use poemable poemography to

poemeate a poemation

then poemify a poemly poemication

into poetry

A Poem For All Seasons

(written for my sister's wedding a long time ago)

I know You

And You have become a part of Me

And so - We are One!

And Your sorrows are Mine

And Your joys are of My own;

   To be with You,

   In You and around You,

Is to never be without You...

... Sweet breath of My breath,

Deep sigh of My sighs;

We are a perfect reason for all this

   Bright Aliveness!

And Our smile shares Us with the world

And Our laughter sings Us to the heavens

And this small seed that We've become

now blooms

nigh the dauntless beauty of Our soul.

Believe!     I do!

This is the best part of me

found within You,

    And of You,

The best within Me.

We are a new permanence

through the ever changing seasons ...

... LOVE

              The celebration is Now & Everlasting!

goodnight

goodnight my sweet love

yet how far the moon above

like the distance that we share

  from our hearts

time is slow to reach a star

shines so near

shines so far

  ever closer

yet so many years apart

goodnight my sweet love

let Him bless you from above

and keep you safe till waking dawn

  sets you free

and as we fall into this night

be not in doubt

nor be surprised

  by what you find

love’s unyielding heart 

and mine