- 13 years later

 

... not a ounce of makeup on

just twirling a few strands of hair

eating an apple outside the ice cream shop

no phone

no purse

no attachments

munch-crunching on that apple

just twirling a few strands

of honey-brown hair ...

i can taste her from here

even thirteen years later

her memory

still the flavor of

summertime cider

perspective

you cannot scar the sky

you can scratch and claw your

ways from misery

you can cuss at the moon and

scream victim to Jupiter

you can reach

jump up

throw knives at the night

pretend to divide the starlight

with butchered dissections

but your intentions from here

will not scar the sky

those injuries are caused

by much greater devastations

contaminated files / lost keys to the firebox / unaccessible hearts

do not settle for me...

love me

or go

i will not hold you responsible

if you leave

but i will blame you

if you stay

and our years go by

tranquilized by

comfortable

 

suffering June

it’s June

and even the shadows are sweating

sounds of heavy panting

as their grays steam off

shade looks for shade

vacancies on cloud flights

anywhere north

anywhere white

wet becomes essential

nonsexual gratification

completely drenched

in a feeling of blue

cover me in blue

white-icy blue

frost-drippy blues and whites

of distant Decembers

“The Dance” by Jaime Best ©️bestartstudios2018

assuming the soothsayer

 

I bet your kiss has

goth attitude

rebel force and

grungy bite

I bet your black is

howling seduction

fierce religion

engulfing pupil

mythical dreamer 

out smashing serpents

cursed blind eyes given

prophetic sight

sing your words in

techo-jazz rhythm

the jewels you gift are a

miner’s delight

promises

 

run with me brother

run with me brother

let’s run from the village

from dirt floors and mud puddles

and machete men now coming

run with me brother

let’s run to the mountains

add our history to the cave art

armed cannibals and new diseases

run with me brother

let’s run to the river

if we survive the harsh rapids

we’ll drown peacefully at sea

run with me brother

let’s run one more time

we’ll catch speed and take flight

joining angels on their playground

longing for a piece

of such supple flesh

reaching to be reached

pressing against pressed

involuntary sighs

bouncing through the night

lit only by the moon

and the growing glow of you

when the dead are gone

fighting cancer with an attitude

i heard it in her voice

she will fight this in anger with a

pissed off strength that will

decimate the cells of

malignant enemies

laying waste of her liver

because she can’t go now...

she has to be here for them

she has to be here for him

because she can’t go right now

his support is just as angry

carries a weapon and wears a badge

but he can’t handcuff this cancer bloom

and he can’t shoot these killers among the innocent

and there’s no combat protocol for this anarchy

and there’s no negotiating with these mute assassins

and i’m no different...

my anger is a barrier deflecting religion

i am pissed off to the point that we have to be

to engage her mind to win this battle

fuck you mother nature

fuck you divine plan

fuck destiny, fuck fate, fuck every

expert-in-their-field prognosis

fuck the chemo, fuck exhaustion

fuck the first cell that thought

taking my sister was going to be easy

i heard it in her voice

... no tears

... no quit

as fire bites

as fire warms the arctic sting

of Winter’s bitter winds

the fields begin their steady thaw

  she warms up to a glow

as fire swipes the mountainsides

and meadows clear for Spring

the fields are ripe for new beginnings

  she becomes a seed within

as fire bites the earth alive

from streams of Summer’s sun

the fields grow deep and pretty-plushed

  she thrives in perfect bloom

as fire climbs into a blaze

matured for Autumn’s approach

the fields explode to kaleidoscope hues

  she radiates an infinite spectrum

at the intersection

 

at the intersection of Allapattah Rd and Martin Hwy

you’re far enough from everything to finally breathe

just north of Indiantown where they travel by foot

most of them, its the only way to get place to place

and you’re east of Okeechobee and west of the ocean

room here for panthers and deer, killers and prey

enough time to pause at the intersection for a peek

of what sunlight looks like on undeveloped land

with the radio off and the windows down

the humidity still bearable this last day of April

i heard every sound within miles of myself

took a long pure breath

and drove away

mindmuck misanthropy

 

pausing breeze

 

flesh for vultures

what kind of god will appear today...

i don’t want god to see me this way

so i run from it

and cover myself up

a shameful thing

this sacred body

this temple...

i burn it to destroy the proof

or kill it      slowly

i accept the sin in secret

i give in to it

and find something i like

i pass the taste around

and lay back down

a useless mass of energy

flesh for feeding vultures

 

 

- for amie

2:25 am

indistinct whisper

undisclosed location

body formed

nights shadow and

moons glow

flowing soul-like

random perfection

new mathematics

in a lift

unearthly breeze

take to a hover

lie in sweat

settles and lowers

upon me

eyes

close to absorption

loves understanding

i fill with you

without separation

despite body

despite time

serenity

 

death and i

death and i

spent some time

hand-in-hand by the

riverside

we strolled through mud

slapped flowers for fun

and pissed our cares

at the sky

he kissed me once

with lips like hers

and left me lost

in genderless smiles

our second date‘s still

years away

unless he’s planning

a surprise

deathtrip

 

 

tangled roots / in the garden there is hope / cacti deliciousness

August sun

August sun

drinks drink from hand

sucks sweat from skin

flies birds to the shade

swims fish to the deep end

chases me to the red light

  for a moment to breathe

she lights a cigarette

and cracks the window

as if it wasn’t hot enough 

for death already

god was taught to me 

on Sunday mornings i stood in line

to receive my peace

sometimes 

god got stuck in my mouth

so i’d sneak in my finger

and god would release

i gotta god for christmas and i i stuck the sinners against the wall in my bedroom and i pretended to be jesus and i um made the sinners pray or else i told’em that i would use my power with my god and um then they would wish that they would’ve prayed like i told’em to... and... then i showed my friend my god and but he got a god too so we played and ran around the block ‘till i got him and took his god away and made him pray like i made the sinners in my room pray and but he started to cry so i had to use my god to make him stop... and so i won