ruined well

(Some lines are from previous post “she of earth and heaven”)

glistening in these daydreams

of lust and longing

I am ruined well to the

appetite unsatiated

enlarge these visions, she

of earth and heaven

my angel of sorts, I bind your

wings to feast upon flesh

let music yet unwritten swell

amidst these carnal heights

yet - I hallucinate, and a reach

for you glitters in disappearance

(The Birth of Venus, 1866, Gustave Moreau from tumblr)

she of earth and heaven

“Bound to earth, and thus the rules set forth;

  to dwell in a body that knows not of heaven,

  for the flesh is forbidden to touch anything but flesh,

  therefore heaven shall remain as virgin a taste and saved

  as any soul that enters” ... 

... this was the mood, this was my quote - no, this was just a poem I was writing in the early morning hours, as sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I get up out of bed and write, or at least try to. wasting the night or using my time wisely... it always depends on the poetry produced. here I was, alone on the couch, contemplating the separation of flesh and soul, the limits of lust and pleasure that must exist if this separation were held to be true... 

and there she was, across the room, still in bed... 

an undisturbed angel of sorts; flesh, soul...

my thoughts are bound to her, my earth, my poem, my touch of heaven...

there is no reason to waste this time. I leave the poetry, the couch, the thoughts of lust and pleasure having limits... I return to her, unselfish, in need of her flesh, her pleasure, her taste...

she’s on her side, facing away from me... her left shoulder, left cheek, left leg, left ankle, all silent and smooth against the sheet... 

I lie down, I move over to her, I press my body gently to hers, warmth against warmth, as quiet and soft as a bird’s wing fell to its side. she remains unmoved, I nestle my head to her neck, intoxicated by the aroma of her sleep-scattered hair. the cotton tease of her nightshirt and panties upon my bare skin is something to ignore... I aim only to please her -

my right hand and right fingers are upon her right thigh, gliding over her knee, the back of her knee, the back of her thigh, atop to her hip, descending from her hipbone to her belly, over those little belly hairs, up so slightly to her navel, circling, in and around and in, continued up to her chest, under her right breast, upon that breast, upon that nipple, relaxing my hand there, fingers extending and palm cupping the fullness of that breast, then up to her neck, and throat to chin, and chin to neck to collarbone... now moving her hair away, beginning to kiss her ear... she’s waking up slowly, little by little, her breathing is audible, deeper are her breaths now, sighing from time to time, and once, even a moan and another deep breath... yes, she is waking -

her right hand reaches out for me, around the back of my leg and up, pulling me closer... I allow it for a second but then pull it away... she reaches again, this time raising her arm up behind her, I feel her fingers run through my hair, fingers hard against my scalp, fingers grabbing to hold my hair... I allow this as part of her pleasure -

I’m now achingly hard, my cock is downward but strong against her ass, I want to be in her so badly, but I refocus... this is not about me, not... not now... so my hand plays the part, falling back down to her belly, fingers sneaking in under her panties, stroking through her hair there, each finger caressing and grabbing lightly, then pulling my hand out and placing it on top, two fingers explore the patch of sticky-wet cotton over her lips, sometimes pressing down, sometimes just a finger dragged through the middle -

~ there’s no sound on earth like my woman coming undone, the song is unwritten, and each time its a little different ~

her fingers in my hair now are forceful and sharp, nails digging in, her arm pulling me closer by the back of my head... I’m kissing harder on her jawline, licking her earlobe, licking the nape of her neck... I pull down her panties, sliding them over her knees until she kicks them off, I pull her right leg up onto mine, opening her up, side-spread, my hand then travels from the inside of her thigh -

~ no matter where you touch a woman, make it the only place you want to be, the only place that exists... attend to it, and cherish it ~

I take my index finger and run it over her exposed cunt, she’s soaked... I take my finger to my mouth and taste the pleasure she’s been releasing... I let her know, with a whisper to her ear, that there is nothing as sweet and delicious as her body, and then my hand returns below, between her legs, back to those slippery lips that are eagerly waiting to receive me -

I’m almost cumming myself at this point, and I continually have to fight off her attempts to grab my erection... but now that she’s close, I let her... I tell her she can only hold it until she’s finished, and then I feel those fingers of hers upon me, her fingers wrap around me, her fingers take their grip and don’t let go... my own fingers are on her, rubbing side-to-side, up-and-down, circles, shapes... fingers sliding into her, fingers deeper and deeper... my palm rests on her hair, my fingers move to find her clit... it too is erect, she directs me to the pace and angle, sometimes her other hand lies on top of mine offering guidance and rhythm... then she pulls hers away, she tells me to keep going... just like that, yes... just like that... oh god! ohhh, ohhh goddamn!... yes... yes! fuck! ohhh fuck! yes... ohhh fuck! ... 

and then silence... then a quick exhale... then a deep inhale... then silence... then an exhale and an inhale and an exhale and an inhale... her legs trembling... wide apart... then crashing together, as all of her body flexes, twists and tightens at once... a pure moment... she is liquid energy flowing in rivers all around me... the dam breaking... everything exploding... and one last exhale, grunting from deep within her throat... her orgasm fills the room, fills my hand, fills my heart, fills this earth, like a soul encased in flesh entering that heavenly realm with a booming crash, exclaiming that flesh and soul can indeed be touched as one form, as one exuberance, as one bound to nothing can travel in all directions and be everywhere, here on this earth and elsewhere in heaven, simultaneously... as pure an existence as there ever was -

she relaxes... her body exhausted... after a few minutes she asks me if I was up writing again, and if so, what was I writing about... I tell her that I was, until my mind went blank and I came back into bed, and she became the poetry that I didn’t want to leave unfinished

she smiled politely, almost as if to say 

  you’re such an idiot, 

  that was so damn cheesy

but instead, she called me a poet

and asked if she could finish me off

I of course, being that idiot,

asked her what she meant

  look down at yourself... poet...

  my poet...

  you’re still hard

she’s the heart I ask

she’s in her prime

but lonely

the feeling of

holding love’s hand

now feels empty

yesterday’s sunrise

watched by two

is today’s sunset

for one

and her skin so wanting

of summer’s warmth

is nothing but trapped

in winter’s harsh chill

      ————

the heart will race

away from ache

when all it wants is to

pound with excitement

and the body will thrive

in the nourishing hand

that supports its growth

and allows it

      ————

I ask her what she expects

of Love and she pulls out a

small piece of blank paper

and crumbles it up and

throws it to the floor

then looks at me

dead from the eyes

and says

  have Love make something

  beautiful out of that

(Unknown image source from snowangelsoul.tumblr.com)

beta

life in beta

angels and demons fight

for their place in line at the

afterlife marketplace

you are as unique as your

final release date

no returns, all sales are final

(Image from jessehurlbut.net)

good morning Death

good morning Death

you look quite lovely today

welcome, come in

make yourself at home

I’ve been waiting for you

I love the little flowers you’ve

placed in your hair, and

your eyes are astonishingly

deep, deeper than usual

  so warm and comforting

I’ve felt your presence lately

  like a daily handshake hello

  like a gentleman’s hand on

  a woman’s lower back

  guiding her around the room

  where are we going today

I’ve been calling home for

years but nobody’s answered

do you think they’ve forgotten

about me, has it been that long

I’m coming, hold on a second

yes, I know the small things

don’t matter now, I know

I’m ok, yes I’m ok... yes, I’m ok

  what a beautiful morning it is

yes, I’m ok

I’m coming

I’m coming

(photo by Veronika Pinke on fravery.tumblr.com)

beyond the gateway drug

state of zen, open body

now

in the lush sunshine haze

keeping my balance on the

ledge

edge of doubt, surety

usually I lift up and

fly away

or close up and sink within

but I’m beyond the gateway

drug now

this high of addiction, thrills

stoned blind blithe and

steady

here I am, here I am, here

in realms of ecstasy, here

where questions

need not be asked

(My altered image)

the agony

to love like this

that crawls on skin

and enters whenever

it wants in

to love like this

as temptations swell

and yearning nights

bring days in hell

to love like this

in tune to the tune

fearless of the fear

I lie here consumed

the agony is

to love like this

knowing this love

has yet to exist

(“Nymph and Faun” by Salvarore Fiume)

tangled

her morning skin, her morning lips are all soft cinnamon, red licorice and smooth honey / I grab a little of it as she tries to hide under the blades of sun creeping through the open blinds / I grab a little more as she yanks the sheets and twists herself away with that unbothered come and get me laugh / I catch a quick peek of her breast before she turns over, I catch a glimpse of her inner thigh as her leg kicks down and bends in, I catch the smallest indentations of her lower back...

that’s it! I’m on the attack now / her taste is evident and pungent, and I am absolutely starving for her / I smell flesh, I smell arousal, I follow the scent / I hunt her body with a greedy jaw, with a salivating mouth, with grasping hands, with a pounding heart I embrace her, my victim / I spread her arms out wide across the sheets / I spread her legs out wide beyond mine / I lower myself upon her, body weight to body weight, breasts upon breasts, ribs upon ribs, belly upon belly, groin upon groin / I am full flexed stiff and vibrant, She is soft undulating torrid and drenched

I pause     everything held silent in ignition, engaged / lips above lips speechless, trembling / intention above intention to devour, succumb...  we make eye contact, we grin, our eyes narrow / focus / penetrate

then a simultaneous kiss   and sliding myself into her / tongue caressing tongue, breath inhaling breath, legs wrapping around legs, fingers entwining fingers / motions and movements and pushing and pulling and thrusting and scratching and thrusting and slipping and biting     and licking     and thrusting and groaning and moaning and screaming     and into and out of     and slower   and slower   and faster and faster and slower   and faster and into and out of      and thrusting and holding and kissing and breathing and     breathing and   

words and whispers and yelling and cursing and into and out of and thrusting and swelling   and swelling   and joining and tangling and swelling and thrusting and kissing and breathing   and swelling   and into and faster and into and into and into and into and...     release... hers... waves... breathless...     release... mine... gasping...   hers... kissing... 

releasing -    joining -    and tangled -    and held -    and caressed -      and released -   and collapsed -   and kissing -   and breathing -   and smiling -    and whispering -   and trembling -    and touching -   and kissing -     and together -     and together -          and together              and together                                 

tangled, together             

together                   

together

(Unknown photo sources from internet and tumblr)

inside out

when I say gutted

I’m saying that

I am still functional

and still appetizing

  like a deviled egg or

  a twice-baked potato

but inside out is

not 

very 

pretty

heartache is a handful

of nothing really,

heavy is the weight

you assign to your

own grief

when I say hurt

I’m saying that

I want you to hurt

for me

because I already

have enough pain

my reincarnation

is doomed

to fail

five more minutes of this

decides my fate

there’s not much more

to say

(Image from mirrorsinner.tumblr.com)

uneven

the night is

uneven above us

  lopsided

darker east than west

  always

heavier here than there

I’m pulling

thoughts of you out of

heart and ache

and pressing them onto

little flat screens of

manufactured magic

jealousy abounds in

regenerated cells

that have never known

your touch

  as

words formed without

the ability to feel anything

reach you, cover you

and enter

still,

      what good is love

      if its never more than

      a word that I’ve

      sent to you

      without me

      by its side

(Image from tumblr, unknown source)

“by hatchet, axe and saw” (lyrics from “The Trees” by RUSH)

so the neighbors are extra

annoying today...

the little boy is screaming

  Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!

until finally Ma answers

with an unpleasant scream

of her own,

and this continues on

I’ve decided that the

trees outside hate me

because they’ve ignored me

for so long, sitting here

begging for one of them

to crash its limbs in through

the window and pull me

out of this tiny torture room

I escape without moving

by donning my headphones

and listen to an old

RUSH song aptly titled

“The Trees”

I too would like to take a

hatchet, axe and saw to

certain voices in this world

that raise themselves up

higher than all the others

it would be a pleasure

to chop certain people

down to a size that

more befits them

be they the

complaining maple

or the

towering oak

on the sidewalk

outside the window

I see the empty sidewalk

and feel how it multiplies

this Sunday solitude

but then

a squirrel darts across

and another one gives chase

an anole grabs a black ant

a white ibis grabs the anole

there’s a weed from the crack

and a flower from the weed

and leaves from the trees above

have fallen crisp to the surface

and things are living

and things are dying

and I am just a witness

somehow doing neither

while outside the window

I see the busy sidewalk

with so much room left for

so much more to happen

(My photo)

two fingers

gliding across her skin

  underneath

her heartbeat

and everything else

I’m unable to touch

  follows

(Image from deepundergroundpoetry.com)

as subtle as the night

as subtle as

the night, in

continuous flow

when in these

waiting moments

without you

  I rise, but fall

subjected to the

absence, the

empty hands

that long to hold

until genesis arrives

in an atmosphere

of thought

bold enough at

my side, this

settled hush

her body, the

comfort of your

easy love

(“Blue Lovers” by Marc Chagall from wikiart.org)

spasm

contraction

in fits

an hour or so

before sunrise

toxicity coming

in lethal doses

I already hear the

voices, the voices

echo

there’s a little darkness

left in me this hour

I must savor it

before morning’s entrance

creates a death I am

unable

to escape

whispering

    step forward

(Image by David Hockney on sophi-aubrey.tumblr.com)

k. s.

lifeless as sunrise,

just a beautiful glowing

remembered daily

(Image from @ Jen Regnart on fravery.tumblr.com)

inure

the quest for chaos,

immediate satisfaction

she smiles

holding both hands out

  grasping at forbidden fruits

  the outcome, the thrill

  inured to the guilts of sin

  lust - a cloaked flame

  love - a glass prism

I kiss her at the waist

her mouth

opens wide

(image by Anatolii Tarnavskyi on artmajeur.com)

into the vibrant

abysmal

and opaque

maneuvering from

the lost vantablack

the first photon ride

bursting outward

into the vibrant

as bliss, expansion

the ether of creation,

of gods before us

before we ever held

belief as tangible

no fate imagined an

outcome such as this

two in tandem, hearts

turned everlasting diamond

(Altered image from seekpng.com)

from behind and through

we’re watching the sky

from the bedroom window

a purple-black starlit night

with just a few thin clouds

drifting across the moon

when from behind and through

a shooting star 

appears to break the

sky in half

with a line of light

that makes us gasp

naked bodies in

a naked grasp

  she’s pressed against me

  and I’m pressing back

from behind and through

I place myself on the outside

of her wet entrance

already hard

but playfully spiteful

I hold it there in hand

in its turgid force

lips upon shaft

head atop clit

unmoving     but pulsating

enough to drive her crazy

enough to make her wetness flood

the honey flows all over me

rivulets from apex to base

a terrible torture for two

but the thrill is mounting

and the pleasure is exploding

in second-to-second waves

and minute-to-minute crashes

until she finally screams

  Goddammit I want you in me!

from behind and through

engorged head to engorged lips

gliding into her warm acceptance

I become all body, all will

She becomes all body, all will

and our rhythm steadies

and our bodies collide

and pull back

and collide

and pull back

and collide

we see the moon

we see nothing

we hear heartbeats

we hear ourselves

and at her height

I am already waiting

we come together    fierce

as the white light blindness

of climax

completely overtakes us

(My altered photo image)

under the happy swimming surface

underneath the

setting sun and this

happy swimming surface

lies the darkest deeps,

the hidden complications

yet to be revealed

 - persona non grata

can you love me at my worst,

the swollen morning ugliness

that arises next to you

with tangled hair

and revolting breath

the mirror-punching nights

when ugliness mocks me

one reflection at a time,

my own nails ripping and

clawing at my face

and ugly even now

trying so hard to seem

semi-beautiful

but my setting sun

enflames the ocean

a self-consuming conflagration

and suddenly

this happy swimming surface

produces a monster from

the deep

(Fire On The Ocean by George Hunter on saatchiart.com)