cycles (with old photos)

from canvas to cave

from healthy to hell

and back again

full of myself to

filling myself to

sober refueling

i never lost you while

you were changing while

i too changed

   

i was no good and

really good, i was there

and nowhere

lip to chest to

belly through lip and

heart to hearts cycle

smile to sin to

scream to grin towards

you at the entrance

and the door

swung open

above a dream

i walked in

the sky was black

with stars above the sea

i sat down

beside her brow

and listened to her breathe

the air was soft

a river flowed

and fell into the scene

i stood up above her

and i

watched the picture sleep

falling down

beside her brow

i listened to her dream

diving in and out of her

like wind throughout

a tree

eyes awake

smiling eyes

the tender brush of hair

i leaned out

to kiss her lips

and watched her disappear

they as snakes

 

smooth as snakes

they rid themselves

sleek and stealth

coil and stretch

belly to vibration

pulse of the hunt

guidance of tongue

ambush and strike

when lies and truths

dispense the venom

paralyzing prey

Spring starts the pirouette

lighthearted and colorful

Summer sets the depth of spin

red with burn and churning

Autumn is the falling pace

the dawdling drop of intensity

Winter slows with sudden stomp

an echo in the hall resonating

 leaves on water / souls in limbo / halfway home

in the bin

she smells of tears

pools of sweat

cheap cigarettes

and eventual formaldehyde

her rattling, chattering

stories of expertise

promises, opinions

all tangled white noise

better than most

she’s carefully crafting

the requirements of

a perfect alibi

ripe in the room

vegetable decay

her burning compost

stiff as the whiff of

waste

she looked at me 

like i was crazy

i looked at her

and let go of the kite

the back of her neck

is a soft lunar landing

kisses bouncing

weightless 

slow motion

and i feel as if i am

that far from earth

and everything around us

as infinite

semblance of a benefactor / motivations of a leech

age may slowly take me down

but willingly i shall not go

  the spine may fracture

  the discs may rupture

but willingly i shall not go

built as bastion come raging storms

weathered and mired i will stand

  come wrathful speak

  come bludgeoning beat

weathered and mired i will stand

halves of you

half a moon crept into view

  golden redstone rising

halfway home below the hue of

  moonshade or its guiding

i halved the complex whole of you

  your recluse - your inviting

how often eyes are mirrors to

  a soul disarmed or hiding

a calling

call for sustenance

call for blood ritual

call for truth and be saved

call for love and at last

  a confluence of two

you as deaths blue comes

fluorescent in its taking

  you as soul

  you rising

  you leaving

damn the light

damn the dark

damn the calling forth of

  endless heart

call me sustenance

call me truth

call me love

  and i will save you

but one

how is it that one heart 

can beat for all of you

when it seems that there should be

a thousand times a thousand?

is it not the same

that there is but one sun

that gives of its life

for all the world's flowers?

i dont fall asleep

anymore

i drug myself

with you

until i’m

overwhelmed

and pray

for a 

blackout

hello (lentando)

 

strangers

precast stares, statues

moribund glares, recognition

woven smiles, comatose

her eyes were already on me

polished politely private

and as any stranger could

she simply said Hello

and there has never been

a more beautiful word spoken

red

all i see is red

so let me say of other colors

  all of them are dead!

all i see is red

red on her lips that

must be kissed

red blood that flows to them

warms them

storms them with

pangs and pleasures

red pulses bring them to

red-wet connections

my red fever spikes as

they part and come together

over and over

again and again

i do not shine colors

i burn only red

in time she will whisper

and her red heart will sink

as her pretty red lips

feel the red loss

the sting

cicatrix

cicatrix

white line

affliction

you raised the

worst of me

without even trying

fault line

disciplined anger

carved a way out

or back in

midnight braille

and the just sun

borrowed the moon to

accentuate you 

i should have known

she hits me like a love song

like a country duet

like a jazz quartet behind

the voice of Norah Jones

she wears me casually

drops her words right next to me

and walks away

with a smile as she goes

she leaves me like a season

my days move along to the

hummings of a love song

  she is always with me

i should have known

  love’s the same as

  love that changes

and life will rearrange us

  we are here

  we are gone

discussion of ants

its been raining so much

even the ants have given up construction

forming thin flows of traffic

from a pinhole in the window sill

up the wall

across the ceiling

down the wall

over wire shelving

into an old shoebox of forgotten photographs

collecting dust in the corner of the closet

it took a destructive mindset

and cruel intentions for me to

follow them that far

but i overheard them mumbling

chit-chattering about the weather

bitch-grumbling about moving

so instead of killing them

i just let them suffer

and when you finally 

love

the heart will seem

unknown

even to

yourself