My photo, age 50 |
11/9/19
11/2/19
this cut of land
gray lines have yet to form
surface smooth as river rock
sun upon this cut of land
sky immune to the killing-clock
early feast, the sweetest dew
silence moves in secrecy
partaken flower, wanton tongue
and entrances to lunacy
remember when the ambered boasts
huddled in a dream forlorn
taste again the need to begin
springtime seed with hunger born
save these best, these innocent
thrills of eyes, this priming vice
where guilty hands have yet to touch
true beauty thrives with tempered fright
9/29/19
As I take into you
Unnerving
Impulsive
To stimulate the preoccupied
into moving in new directions
Imperfect lust
I never know your
infantile ambition
Your silly stumbling
There she is
as she was and will be
and I wear the armor
that protects and hinders
Unlock the music
The songs that must play
as I take into you
Subtle
Unobtrusive
6/13/19
( thoughts on being an introvert )
the hardest part
is trying to find a balance
wanting to be alone
just maddens those around me
its a simple thing
to have solitude be contentment
and give them not the song
nor the slightest tune in humming
6/10/19
love and loneliness
coffee by the window
contemplating love and
loneliness,
how do I fit
in a hand that wants to
hold
what won’t be held
love is the snow
cold dead and beautiful
loneliness, the fire
pure warm and destroying
what stirs the seed
in the fallow soils of heart,
what breaks these eyes
of their far-off blissful staring
6/8/19
Finish room
Sipping melancholy thru a clouded straw
I cant right the ship,
I hope you know how to swim
You
Standing there,
Enough to make the world shake
... I never felt the change
What evils now
undo themselves,
the creaking door
the sliding chain
She lets me in at night,
She has no sin
so I give her mine
this is the Finish Room
I know my bullet waits for me
5/4/19
5/3/19
4/27/19
4/26/19
4/23/19
the animals
domesticate the animals
these people will eat you
(everything is an illusion)
sounds from a room
sex or death
coming or going,
I nail the door shut
the stench is overwhelming
(the kids shouldn’t see this)
you and your soft porn eyes,
my celestial high
my overground
what will I do without you
when the fears reawaken,
without your touch,
without the promise of everafter
(Of Sex and Death Art Print by mjtillustration) |
4/22/19
4/17/19
Unfinished around her
body as a writhing mime
I am unfinished around her
eyes blind and hands are seers
elevated “kiss” translates to “fuck”
stream of blood the flow of soul
live from the cut as she licks it up
morph from ordinary lovely flower
to strange hideous fire
and writhing mime
4/16/19
4/15/19
I write for you
because I will never have you
So this is everything
and nothing at all
beginnings are here
endings are here
where I bloom
radiate
decay
I can not touch
but I write the word... touch
and feel every part of you
rough to smooth
welcomed torture
wishing for an hour
of holding you
happiness, no
instead
another poem
and a lifetime
of suffering
4/14/19
Sometimes Love
Sometimes love is a cautious character
playing her first part in a play
Sometimes sitting on a well-worn bench
in a park
watching the leaves blow by
Sometimes love floats around like a secret
Each whisper tells it in a different way
Sometimes there are no words for love at all
Just a smile from a beautiful woman
4/12/19
The Dog-Rose And The Parma Violet
Outside my window
the second-story tree and the sounds of the city
( blackbirds & dumptrucks )
A child like a butterfly fluttering in the breeze
dances in the grass,
Her soul like a fire willfully contained
and then set free,
I remember that energy as if it were my own;
She laughs
and her laughter becomes a part of me,
She smiles
and suddenly I feel myself smiling,
She tosses her hair back and leans towards a flower...
Whom do you love or lust for this hour?
I know you have wilderness inside that silence
Come out and show me,
In all of your brilliance!
Trust in your fears
and you will surprise them,
I know you have it in you
Your disguises are beautiful.
Outside my window a storm approaching,
Its' chill-gray shadow devouring the land;
A child from a flower raises her head,
Looks up while wiping loose hair from her face.
I saw her shine - it was fading away,
The same way a love-song will slip out of memory
when love is abused;
I remember'd it once
and ran like a child afraid of the pain.
She laughs like a thief before the theft,
A child as only a child can be in the rain
... How it feels to be naked!
She twitches the first few times her skin is struck,
She laughs at the way it tickles,
She feels more freedom in this than when the sunshine
hugs her skin with warmth.
A raindrop's a funny thing she says,
It'll find the places noone has found.
Outside my window an image of you
drops like a rainbow from cloud to ground.
I sit back and wonder what your smile would look like
I sit back and wonder what your smile would look like
if my pen were a paintbrush
and this paper were canvas,
Such beauty is often the simplest thing
like a smile makes a woman
or a word makes a poem.
... I love you ...
Not the way a man would hold you
and touch you and kiss you
and tell you that he loves you,
Such a man would whisper his love to the deaf
or promise his heart to a concubine;
Rather I love you as I love the child
who leans towards a flower and laughs in the rain...
Love can be felt so many different ways;
I think of you
again
I love you!
4/11/19
- a trip through the outlines
When we have visions
& apparitions
the mind outside itself is f re e
Chem+i+c=al creatures carrying cryptic codes
FUCK in s Tra Nge belongings
W=e akwire u 4 alien birth
& dissem^inate our silver s o u l s for wisdom
? Which of you will fulfill a dream...
4/10/19
Into
Can you see out your window
O bless'd night !
As the voyeur slips by
the movie changes scenes
And then i saw Innocence
dancing in a ring of fire
And the sparks were like
white-tigers leaping
And the crowd threw their hands up
each time a tiger bit her
And her blood, like the flag
that waved overhead,
Gave proof through the night.
i tell you this
... god is not happy
And the angel he gave to you
is flying away!
you're a waste of good flesh,
a good cause for the coming
of the 2nd human cleansing
... let the rains begin!
This stain on my cheek
looks like a tear
because
- well
because it is
.
4/9/19
Looking for a Rose
Looking for a rose
that sweet form of prose
that enervates the flesh
& stupifies the soul
A myriad of stolen
pleasures & dreams
given unto thee
diamonds & gold
Just You & I
& the stillness of sky
losing each other
in each other's eyes
Skipping the stars
bright stones on a lake
Flowers in your hair
sipping on the mandrake
We can be numb
Softly succumb
to the music of angels
tambourines & drums
Traveling like restless
arpeggios of Love
Aptly aplomb
Like lovers in Love.
4/8/19
close, a'little closer
Goodgods live in seas of
blacknight forestry...
all sights, sounds & smells
dancemingle cosmetic'ly...
rain does not whisper like this
in any other garden...
even as cold as i am not even
as cold...
Or slower than this, the prize of
time in a dollar...
more medicine's hard to find but
twice as noticed...
my clouds are falling down apart
from stardust...
we're just as close as they are just
a'little closer...
4/7/19
Thoughts of an Attractive Woman
(observed a girl getting stared at by a guy next to her on the beach, and wondered what she must have been thinking)
They have eyes
and that's what they are -
they're all around me
they're expanding
when i sit or kneel or stand
or bend over
or cross my legs
they're always watching
always there
they don't even know me...
They have mouths
and that's what they are -
they're always talking
sometimes moving
they're drooling & whispering & dropping
and telling friends
and poorly smiling
they're always speaking
always open
they don't even know me...
They have thoughts
and that's what they are -
they're always thinking
always guessing
i can feel them even when i'm alone
or in a crowd
or with a lover
they're always there
always haunting
they don't even know me...
they don't even know me
They have eyes
and that's what they are -
they're all around me
they're expanding
when i sit or kneel or stand
or bend over
or cross my legs
they're always watching
always there
they don't even know me...
They have mouths
and that's what they are -
they're always talking
sometimes moving
they're drooling & whispering & dropping
and telling friends
and poorly smiling
they're always speaking
always open
they don't even know me...
They have thoughts
and that's what they are -
they're always thinking
always guessing
i can feel them even when i'm alone
or in a crowd
or with a lover
they're always there
always haunting
they don't even know me...
they don't even know me
4/5/19
Camouflage
Painted faces
Camouflage clothes & bow-tied laces
... the seranade
Hypnotist
Nature's finest exterminator
... the madden'd brain
The brush smells of liquid dawn
& deer in heat
he scrapes his horns
A hunter lies still in his shadow
against a tree
bow in hand & arrow drawn...
there is no finer moment than this
and a breath,
if one were taken,
would
murder the scene
This is the hunt...
This IS the hunt!
4/4/19
The hands of a Christ
Your eyes are centripetal pathways
Chameleon liaisons
Unfettered castaway schoolgirls
biting their lips
& curling their tongues
I tried to look through them
or sing them a song of silence
The only thing holding me back...
Warm fluid fills flaccid fountains
BURST!
- the energies fall a p a r t quickly
Dare to reunite your tasseled love
by pressing up against it
or reaching through the glass
as if I had the hands of CHRIST
to perform such a miracle!
lying on coldDank-slimy sheets beneath a fan
2 hearts adopt the silence as new fear
& decipher its' code.
4/3/19
about a girl
Beauty? ... she was innocent
simple-hearted, unadorned
I saw her once behind the counter
Her smile was tiffany-woven
She loved to laugh
She had a serious side
She was artless but somehow
she deluged the field
She was hesitant
She danced when the spotlight
disdained her
She was better than the rest
and it left her alone...
It's sad to see beauty such a fragile thing
a cry in a curled-up corner of a room
When Beauty beats a man insane
Insanity leaves the heart forlorn.
4/2/19
Caught off-guard
All this time calming the soul
Deep gentle breathing in&out
The restless eye ( as always ) in tune
...
a smile preserved for you.
And turn And NOW! and
caught
off-guard
and the sudden SpLaSh of childhood love
And hands are prisoners and words
imprisoned
by
lips
are just the start of this.
4/1/19
- watching a Norah Jones t.v. concert
The world is good,
i'm sure of it...
( there's always time to look at the sky )
i saw it in a young girl's face,
The light of it
consumed me...
Hear her voice,
a smooth jazz...
( there's always time to enjoy that tune )
i wrote it down in a fallen state,
the warmth of it
consoled me...
3/31/19
3/30/19
Sybin's Tower
Her warm eyes melted upon me
& simmeredHer soft eyes floated down on me
& littered my lust
with such scatterings
that all of her gatherings
could never have erected
what her warm eyes collected.
3/29/19
Proof of an angel
3/28/19
Like Napalm
U N T
Add the " C "
and it's
like
napalm
as a
word
if it's
used
correctly
!
(photo by 4k1.deviantART.com)
3/27/19
C'mere kitten
don’t just look at me
steal me with your eyes
a gaze that latches on to every
timid intimation
steal me with your eyes
a gaze that latches on to every
timid intimation
don’t just reach for me
pounce upon your prey
snatch this flesh with good intent
to feast until fulfilled
pounce upon your prey
snatch this flesh with good intent
to feast until fulfilled
3/26/19
Emerald paradox
green is death to me
emerald paradox
all of nature
surrounded malevolence
alive is thriving
mocking my living
knowing damn well that
I’m dying without you
3/25/19
Sorrow
Observing discarded
cigarette butts
still smoking in the
red mulch of
fresh
flower gardens
And I remember how my
poisoned words
were thrown
into you
and
destroyed something
beautiful
And it’s now
that sorrow
singes my
heart.
Good thing
Movement
Action
Doing the gotta-get-done’s
The everyday
The get-outta-my-way’s
Grass stains on your knees
Wind-blown hair atrophy
Doing’s resistance is only a mind-set
Shut up and get it done
Tick tick tick
tick tocks
Toxic malaise knocks
Unlock the needle box
Quick shot adrenaline
Oh man,
you’re gonna need it
And that’s a good thing.
3/23/19
Boyshorts & a t-shirt
Sexy is an Almost…
like the high-slit cutaway of her
racetrack black dress
{ almost revealing…
like the flimsy strands of free-form hair that
sentence prose across her face
or
those fine little fibers that
wheat-field golden her
roundabout navel
{ almost erotica…
Sexy is an Almost…
like 6:30 glances and
walkaway prances with a
sly look back from the
cafe exit
or
the “welcome home” attire of
boyshorts and a t-shirt
just as sexy as a
goddammit!
{ almost a cussing…
Sexy is an Almost…
like smoke without flames
like humming her name
{ almost a possession…
{ almost a cussing…
Sexy is an Almost…
like smoke without flames
like humming her name
{ almost a possession…
Small escapes
The fences of my prison
are electrified and barbed
but I leave a key by the
main gate because
every once in a while
the Bad have needs
They respect their small
freedoms and politely come
back smiling placing the key
again where they found it
not saying much but
yawns and thankings.
Look up
Look up!
strange, beautiful
The world gets big down here…
Augmented anxieties
Overburdened shoulders
Scoliotic spines
Arthritic knees
The weighing down
The pulling force
The doubling gravity
thickens despair
I’m looking up…
Strange,
Beautiful
To look back down
with absolution.
Waves of you
Every second a wave every
second a wave every
second a wave on a
shore in the world every
second it takes only
one on a shore to
remind me of you in a
wave every second a
wave is a thrust into
you every second a
wave overtakes my
helpless soul every
second I drown in a
wave every second a
wave into you on a
shore in the world.
3/21/19
The kissing booth ~a childish romance~
wish she were in the kissing booth
I’d scrounge some change or dollar bills
from men who couldn’t spare a tooth
much less a cent for childish thrills
wish she were in the kissing booth
I’d stand in line and wait my turn
behind half-men half-ripe from youth
with eager grins and antsy words
wish she were in the kissing booth
I’d fix my hair while next in line
and listen as another proves
what’s spent is spent and lost in time
wish she were in the kissing booth
I’d walk right up and wipe her lips
of ev’ry kiss from ev’ry fool
who knew not how true love begins
Good girl’s goin’ bad
and there’s no way you’re
gonna stop her…
She was fightin’ to stay
in the cage that you made
but you forced her out
Now she’s flyin’
Good girl’s goin’ bad
and she ain’t comin’ back
so stop tryin’…
You wanted her heart
but you tore it apart,
How’s it feel in the deaths
of denial
Solo accompaniment
Her lust was greedy
A harvest for one in
self-imposed climates,
seasons on command
She touched me for a reason to
secretly touch herself
again & over &
over slowly again
I knew her floods were coming when
her thunder & lightning climaxed
together in thick reverb
Her eyes, lost implosion
I could’ve been any man on her
slippery event horizon
dared to taste her dark avoidance and
happy as a-fuck to be falling in
3/20/19
Sad girl
She tells me she feels like
her ship’s going down
Like half of her hull is
already under water,
The voices in her head can’t
swim so they run through the
halls of the hull snapping
towels at each other
She says she wants to be a
leaf on the ocean
drifting, drifting towards
tropical islands,
Laid by the current’s soft
hand upon lands where
she will remain until
death fully dries her
between
tears irrigate the sad poems
rage enflames the hostile
smiles radiate the lovely
thoughts orchestrate the abstract
all alive from symbolic nothings
we’ve trained these
fine motor skills to
create
loops, dots
crosses and curves
between the words
and the mind
there is
something
- stuck
In the middle
of the maze
wishing for a drone
or satellite guidance
shooting flares
taking out the shadows
calling for napalm
the minute the silence
gets uncomfortable
fear as simple
as a lizard’s glare
and just as
paranoid
Vibrio
Found acceptance
unnoticed I enter
from prolific waters
to my liking
warm
multitudes
me of millions
migrating muted & miscible
chance taken
this of a risk
of death of a maybe
multitudes
me of millions
migrating muted & miscible
chance taken
this of a risk
of death of a maybe
nature never asked
if invasions were
allowed
nature doesn’t ask
you just have to be
ready
Two Daisies
Clouds were gathering above us grey as
death atmospheres inflating
swollen bellies overhead belching
violent wind gusts and rolling growls
We ran for cover at the
first feel of summer storm being
spit
sprayed down upon us
Sheltered by an awning on the
backside of the building
peeking out now and again
for any sign of the sun
Fell entranced at the sight of two
daisies in the sidewalk, Two
daisies in the crack of the
sidewalk being flooded
Two daisies doin’ fine just
excited there was rainfall just
ecstatic to be wet just a
joy to watch them playing
Stepping out beyond the awning
feeling every drop upon us we
held hands and lost our shoes
for a slow dance in the storm
death atmospheres inflating
swollen bellies overhead belching
violent wind gusts and rolling growls
We ran for cover at the
first feel of summer storm being
spit
sprayed down upon us
Sheltered by an awning on the
backside of the building
peeking out now and again
for any sign of the sun
Fell entranced at the sight of two
daisies in the sidewalk, Two
daisies in the crack of the
sidewalk being flooded
Two daisies doin’ fine just
excited there was rainfall just
ecstatic to be wet just a
joy to watch them playing
Stepping out beyond the awning
feeling every drop upon us we
held hands and lost our shoes
for a slow dance in the storm
Andromeda absorbing
Years from now
when vectors meet
seen & unseen
fissions & fusions
bouncing
colliding
distances entwined by
alien mathematics
and postulating
what will become…
I’ll want to live again
circling still
existence to existence
a part of the blend
an ingredient mite
or a virus strain
hopping host to host
I just want to see it
The courting of spirals
An ethereal voyeur
eying the dance
Andromeda absorbing
as it’s been foretold
Closing mind to the violence
… I won’t feel a thing
We’re already beautiful
but just wait…
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