journal-1

the guy in the condo above me is pissing again. he flushes and I stare at the ceiling... then at the wall... following the sound as it descends. its not quite the trickling stream in the peaceful woods effect, but its pretty in its own pvc pipe behind drywall sort of way

I'm eating a post-workout meal of peanut butter, a banana and a protein shake. a live version of "Bulls On Parade" by RATM is now blaring in my headphones. I get goosebumps when Zack screams "What's up Los Angeles!" and the crowd goes completely fucking nuts. that's some good goddam energy right there

it was a gray day today, overcast and warm. yesterday it poured while I was at the post office. I helped a lady get to her car with my umbrella (after yelling at myself for walking by her like an asshole without asking). she held my left arm with both hands and said  "thank you, god bless you." her husband in the van just nodded at me. my shirt got soaked on the right side but she stayed dry. my mail was all shit, pre-approved loan offers and bills

I need LASIK, every close word is a blur without glasses. I need hair dye, the grays are coming in. I need more masks. I need to get my car fixed. I need to write a poem tonight. I need to sleep better. does any poet or writer ever sleep well? I lie there trying to fall into the abyss but then some dumb-ass brilliant line comes into my head... and then what...? I'll tell you... the abyss disappears. a light is turned on. the bathroom light. I take a piss while sitting because I'm tired. I flush. I move to the couch and try to write. 

it usually turns out to be trash. sometimes its ok. 

(Image from mirrorsinner.tumblr.com)