11/9/19

Holy shit I’m 50... fuck 50! (not a poetry post)


My photo, age 50

My photo, age 50


This is just a post to celebrate myself, 50 years on this spinning hell-stone, self-rescued from a lot of life’s bullshit, some of it self-inflicted, some of it on purpose, some of it out of my control... but I’m proud of myself for keeping in shape, trying to eat healthy most of the time, raising 2 of the best children a father could ever ask for and overcoming alcoholism, fits of depression, divorce, foreclosure and bankruptcy... for the most part I am at peace and comfortable with life... I need to write more... I need to become a recluse and fight to find better poetry... I need a love that understands and allows my personality... I need to make it to 60 - and then we’ll see...







11/2/19

this cut of land


gray lines have yet to form
surface smooth as river rock
sun upon this cut of land
sky immune to the killing-clock

early feast, the sweetest dew
silence moves in secrecy
partaken flower, wanton tongue
and entrances to lunacy

remember when the ambered boasts
huddled in a dream forlorn
taste again the need to begin
springtime seed with hunger born

save these best, these innocent
thrills of eyes, this priming vice
where guilty hands have yet to touch
true beauty thrives with tempered fright

9/29/19

As I take into you


Unnerving
Impulsive
To stimulate the preoccupied
into moving in new directions

Imperfect lust
I never know your
infantile ambition
Your silly stumbling

There she is
as she was and will be
and I wear the armor
that protects and hinders

Unlock the music
The songs that must play
as I take into you
Subtle
Unobtrusive




6/13/19

( thoughts on being an introvert )


the hardest part
is trying to find a balance

wanting to be alone
just maddens those around me

its a simple thing
to have solitude be contentment

and give them not the song
nor the slightest tune in humming





6/10/19

love and loneliness



coffee by the window 
contemplating love and
loneliness,
how do I fit 
in a hand that wants to
hold 
what won’t be held

love is the snow
cold dead and beautiful
loneliness, the fire
pure warm and destroying

what stirs the seed
in the fallow soils of heart,
what breaks these eyes
of their far-off blissful staring









6/8/19

Finish room



Sipping melancholy thru a clouded straw

I cant right the ship,
I hope you know how to swim

You
Standing there,
Enough to make the world shake
... I never felt the change

What evils now
undo themselves,
the creaking door
the sliding chain

She lets me in at night,
She has no sin
so I give her mine

this is the Finish Room

I know my bullet waits for me


5/4/19


5/3/19


4/27/19


4/26/19


4/23/19

the animals



domesticate the animals 
these people will eat you
(everything is an illusion)

sounds from a room
sex or death
coming or going,
I nail the door shut
the stench is overwhelming
(the kids shouldn’t see this)

you and your soft porn eyes,
my celestial high
my overground

what will I do without you
when the fears reawaken,
without your touch,
without the promise of everafter

(Of Sex and Death Art Print by mjtillustration)

4/22/19

A beautiful man
falls limp
in the sun
radiation of
a beautiful woman

(Image from www.mcadjessica.com)

4/20/19

And the touch of her hand
even though it was a mistake
was a thrill-full grace 
from heaven

4/17/19

Unfinished around her


body as a writhing mime 
I am unfinished around her
eyes blind and hands are seers
elevated “kiss” translates to “fuck”
stream of blood the flow of soul 
live from the cut as she licks it up
morph from ordinary lovely flower
to strange hideous fire
and writhing mime

4/16/19


4/15/19

I write for you
because I will never have you
So this is everything
and nothing at all

beginnings are here
endings are here
where I bloom
radiate
decay

I can not touch
but I write the word... touch
and feel every part of you
rough to smooth

welcomed torture
wishing for an hour
of holding you

happiness, no
instead

another poem
and a lifetime

of suffering



4/14/19

Sometimes Love


Sometimes love is a cautious character
playing her first part in a play

Sometimes sitting on a well-worn bench
in a park
watching the leaves blow by

Sometimes love floats around like a secret
Each whisper tells it in a different way

Sometimes there are no words for love at all
Just a smile from a beautiful woman


4/12/19

The Dog-Rose And The Parma Violet



Outside my window
the second-story tree and the sounds of the city
( blackbirds & dumptrucks )

A child like a butterfly fluttering in the breeze
dances in the grass,
Her soul like a fire willfully contained
and then set free,
I remember that energy as if it were my own;
She laughs
and her laughter becomes a part of me,
She smiles
and suddenly I feel myself smiling,
She tosses her hair back and leans towards a flower...
   Whom do you love or lust for this hour?
   I know you have wilderness inside that silence
   Come out and show me,
   In all of your brilliance!
   Trust in your fears
   and you will surprise them,
   I know you have it in you
   Your disguises are beautiful.

Outside my window a storm approaching,
Its' chill-gray shadow devouring the land;
A child from a flower raises her head,
Looks up while wiping loose hair from her face.
I saw her shine - it was fading away,
The same way a love-song will slip out of memory
when love is abused;
I remember'd it once
and ran like a child afraid of the pain.

She laughs like a thief before the theft,
A child as only a child can be in the rain
... How it feels to be naked!
She twitches the first few times her skin is struck,
She laughs at the way it tickles,
She feels more freedom in this than when the sunshine
hugs her skin with warmth.
    A raindrop's a funny thing   she says,
    It'll find the places noone has found.
Outside my window an image of you
drops like a rainbow from cloud to ground.

I sit back and wonder what your smile would look like
if my pen were a paintbrush
and this paper were canvas,
Such beauty is often the simplest thing
like a smile makes a woman
or a word makes a poem.

... I love you ...

Not the way a man would hold you
and touch you and kiss you
and tell you that he loves you,
Such a man would whisper his love to the deaf
or promise his heart to a concubine;
Rather I love you as I love the child
who leans towards a flower and laughs in the rain...
Love can be felt so many different ways;
I think of you

again

I love you!

4/11/19

- a trip through the outlines



When we have visions
& apparitions
the mind outside itself is f  re  e
Chem+i+c=al creatures carrying cryptic codes
FUCK in  s Tra Nge belongings

W=e akwire u 4 alien birth
& dissem^inate our silver s o u l s  for wisdom

? Which of you will fulfill a dream...
Which will become a pestilence ?



4/10/19

Into



Can you see out your window
    O bless'd night !

As the voyeur slips by
the movie changes scenes

And then i saw Innocence
dancing in a ring of fire
And the sparks were like
white-tigers leaping
And the crowd threw their hands up
each time a tiger bit her
And her blood, like the flag
that waved overhead,
Gave proof through the night.

i tell you this
... god is not happy
And the angel he gave to you
is flying away!
you're a waste of good flesh,
a good cause for the coming
of the 2nd human cleansing
... let the rains begin!

This stain on my cheek
looks like a tear
because
- well
because it is
.

4/9/19

Looking for a Rose



Looking for a rose
that sweet form of prose
that enervates the flesh
& stupifies the soul
A myriad of stolen
pleasures & dreams
given unto thee
diamonds & gold

Just You & I
& the stillness of sky
losing each other
in each other's eyes
Skipping the stars
bright stones on a lake
Flowers in your hair
sipping on the mandrake

We can be numb
Softly succumb
to the music of angels
tambourines & drums
Traveling like restless
arpeggios of Love
Aptly aplomb
Like lovers in Love.

4/8/19

close, a'little closer



Goodgods live in seas of
blacknight forestry...
all sights, sounds & smells
dancemingle cosmetic'ly...
rain does not whisper like this
in any other garden...
even as cold as i am not even
as cold...

Or slower than this, the prize of
time in a dollar...
more medicine's hard to find but
twice as noticed...
my clouds are falling down apart
from stardust...
we're just as close as they are just
a'little closer...

4/7/19

Thoughts of an Attractive Woman

(observed a girl getting stared at by a guy next to her on the beach, and wondered what she must have been thinking)



They have eyes
and that's what they are - 
they're all around me
they're expanding
when i sit or kneel or stand
  or bend over
  or cross my legs
they're always watching
  always there
they don't even know me...

They have mouths
and that's what they are - 
they're always talking
sometimes moving
they're drooling & whispering & dropping
  and telling friends
  and poorly smiling
they're always speaking 
  always open
they don't even know me...

They have thoughts
and that's what they are - 
they're always thinking
always guessing
i can feel them even when i'm alone
  or in a crowd
  or with a lover
they're always there
  always haunting
they don't even know me...

they don't even know me



4/5/19

Camouflage



Painted faces
Camouflage clothes & bow-tied laces
 ... the seranade

Hypnotist
Nature's finest exterminator
... the madden'd brain

The brush smells of liquid dawn
   & deer in heat
   he scrapes his horns
A hunter lies still in his shadow
                                  against a tree
 bow in hand & arrow drawn...

there is no finer moment than this

and a breath,
                     if one were taken,
 would
murder the scene

                 This is the hunt...

                                           This IS the hunt!

4/4/19

The hands of a Christ



Your eyes are centripetal pathways
Chameleon liaisons
Unfettered castaway schoolgirls
biting their lips
& curling their tongues

I tried to look through them
or sing them a song of silence

The only thing holding me back...

Warm fluid fills flaccid fountains

BURST!

- the energies fall a p a r t quickly

Dare to reunite your tasseled love
by pressing up against it
or reaching through the glass

as if I had the hands of CHRIST
to perform such a miracle!

lying on coldDank-slimy sheets beneath a fan

2 hearts adopt the silence as new fear
& decipher its' code.

4/3/19

about a girl



Beauty? ... she was innocent
simple-hearted, unadorned
I saw her once behind the counter
Her smile was tiffany-woven
She loved to laugh
She had a serious side
She was artless but somehow
   she deluged the field
She was hesitant
She danced when the spotlight
   disdained her
She was better than the rest
and it left her alone...

It's sad to see beauty such a fragile thing
a cry in a curled-up corner of a room

   When Beauty beats a man insane
   Insanity leaves the heart forlorn.

4/2/19

Caught off-guard



All this time calming the soul
Deep gentle breathing     in&out
The restless eye ( as always ) in tune
...
                 a smile preserved for you.

And turn          And NOW!               and
                                                caught
                                            off-guard
and the sudden SpLaSh of childhood love
And hands are prisoners         and words
                                            imprisoned
                                                        by
                                                       lips
are just the start of this.

4/1/19

- watching a Norah Jones t.v. concert



The world is good,
i'm sure of it...
   ( there's always time to look at the sky )
i saw it in a young girl's face,
The light of it
consumed me...

Hear her voice,
a smooth jazz...
   ( there's always time to enjoy that tune )
i wrote it down in a fallen state,
the warmth of it
consoled me...

3/31/19

For one



Lemon lust
the taste on my tongue
fruitful
sparkled
like diamond dust
star in my sky
the clearest
purest
full-moon night
harmonized

Song unsung
the note
the chords played
unstrung
the out-of-tune
Poetry hung
the word
the rhythm
the thought dismembered

  Lemonade for one...

3/30/19

Sybin's Tower



Her warm eyes melted upon me
  & simmered

Her soft eyes floated down on me
  & littered my lust
with such scatterings
that all of her gatherings
could never have erected

what her warm eyes collected.

3/29/19

Proof of an angel



It was a beautiful night
& Everything was changing

I saw a vision of God
or the re-arranging

And she walked up to me
A spectacle of Beauty

Like the last moment of true Sun
  before Infinity


byronjorjorian.com ©️Taylor Jorjorian


3/28/19

Like Napalm


 



          U      N      T   

Add the " C "
and it's
like
napalm
as a
word
if it's
used
correctly
!
                                                  (photo by 4k1.deviantART.com)

3/27/19

C'mere kitten


don’t just look at me
steal me with your eyes
a gaze that latches on to every
timid intimation
don’t just reach for me
pounce upon your prey
snatch this flesh with good intent
to feast until fulfilled

O god, how you burn me

enough so that i fall like
hot wax to the floor

not burning from
the surface
but
burning deep 
within

and oozing
out
molten

my whole life leaves
the evidence of
a burning love
for you.

3/26/19

Emerald paradox



green is death to me
emerald paradox
all of nature
surrounded malevolence

alive  is thriving
mocking my living
knowing damn well that
I’m dying without you


Add caption


Brunt



Love’s coming on like 
a storm

I prepare not by
boarding up
and tying down
and bringing in
and turning off

I prepare by
opening wide
and letting loose
and giving out
and remaining lit

I want to be able to
feel the full force

No evacuations heeded.

3/25/19

Sorrow



Observing discarded
cigarette butts 
still smoking in the
red mulch of
fresh 
flower gardens

And I remember how my
poisoned words
were thrown 
into you
and 
destroyed something
beautiful

And it’s now
that sorrow
singes my
heart.

Good thing



Movement
Action
Doing the gotta-get-done’s
The everyday
The get-outta-my-way’s
Grass stains on your knees
Wind-blown hair atrophy

Doing’s resistance is only a mind-set
Shut up and get it done
Tick tick tick
tick tocks

Toxic malaise knocks
Unlock the needle box
Quick shot adrenaline
Oh man,
you’re gonna need it
And that’s a good thing.

3/23/19

Boyshorts & a t-shirt



Sexy is an Almost…
like the high-slit cutaway of her
racetrack black dress
  { almost revealing…

like the flimsy strands of free-form hair that
sentence prose across her face
  or
those fine little fibers that
wheat-field golden her
roundabout navel
  { almost erotica…

Sexy is an Almost…
like 6:30 glances and
walkaway prances with a
sly look back from the
cafe exit
  or
the “welcome home” attire of
boyshorts and a t-shirt
just as sexy as a
goddammit!
  { almost a cussing…

Sexy is an Almost…
like smoke without flames
like humming her name
  { almost a possession…


(deviantart.com)







Small escapes



The fences of my prison
are electrified and barbed
but I leave a key by the 
main gate because 
every once in a while 
the Bad have needs

They respect their small
freedoms and politely come
back smiling placing the key
again where they found it
not saying much but
yawns and thankings.

Look up



Look up! 
               strange, beautiful
The world gets big down here…
Augmented anxieties
Overburdened shoulders
Scoliotic spines
Arthritic knees
The weighing down
The pulling force
The doubling gravity
  thickens despair
I’m looking up…
  Strange,
  Beautiful
To look back down
  with absolution.

Waves of you



Every second a wave every
second a wave every
second a wave on a
shore in the world every
second it takes only
one on a shore to
remind me of you in a
wave every second a
wave is a thrust into
you every second a
wave overtakes my
helpless soul every
second I drown in a
wave every second a
wave into you on a
shore in the world.



3/21/19

The kissing booth ~a childish romance~



wish she were in the kissing booth
I’d scrounge some change or dollar bills
from men who couldn’t spare a tooth
much less a cent for childish thrills

wish she were in the kissing booth
I’d stand in line and wait my turn
behind half-men half-ripe from youth
with eager grins and antsy words

wish she were in the kissing booth
I’d fix my hair while next in line
and listen as another proves
what’s spent is spent and lost in time

wish she were in the kissing booth
I’d walk right up and wipe her lips
of ev’ry kiss from ev’ry fool
who knew not how true love begins





Good girl’s goin’ bad
and there’s no way you’re
  gonna stop her…
She was fightin’ to stay
in the cage that you made
but you forced her out
  Now she’s flyin’

Good girl’s goin’ bad
and she ain’t comin’ back
  so stop tryin’…
You wanted her heart
but you tore it apart,
How’s it feel in the deaths
  of denial

(5)

My hate is real
visible
measurable
    it’s not in my heart
    … no…
    hate should never be there
my hate is on a map
calculated
precise
    the distance from you
    - hated -
always a hindrance

    there’s no such thing?

Solo accompaniment



Her lust was greedy
A harvest for one in
self-imposed climates,
  seasons on command

She touched me for a reason to
secretly touch herself
again & over &
over slowly again

I knew her floods were coming when
her thunder & lightning climaxed
together in thick reverb
  Her eyes, lost implosion

I could’ve been any man on her
slippery event horizon
dared to taste her dark avoidance and
  happy as a-fuck to be falling in




3/20/19

Sad girl



She tells me she feels like 
her ship’s going down
Like half of her hull is 
already under water,
The voices in her head can’t
swim so they run through the
halls of the hull snapping
towels at each other

She says she wants to be a
leaf on the ocean
drifting, drifting towards
tropical islands,
Laid by the current’s soft
hand upon lands where
she will remain until
death fully dries her



between



tears irrigate the sad poems
rage enflames the hostile
smiles radiate the lovely
thoughts orchestrate the abstract

all alive from symbolic nothings
we’ve trained these
fine motor skills to
create

loops, dots
crosses and curves

between the words
and the mind
there is
something


(gogeometry.com)


- stuck



In the middle
of the maze

wishing for a drone
or satellite guidance

shooting flares
taking out the shadows

calling for napalm
the minute the silence
gets uncomfortable

fear as simple
as a lizard’s glare
and just as
paranoid

(4)

Trembled by a touch
a sideways touch
a velvet rub
across the grain
and back again
along the path
that leads at last
to wet terrain…





Age may slowly take me down
But willingly I shall not go
  The spine may fracture
  The discs may rupture
But willingly I shall not go

Built as bastion come raging storms
Weathered and mired I’ll stand
  Come wrathful speak
  Come bludgeoning beat
Weathered and mired I’ll stand
Even if you said:
  Let’s start over…
I wouldn’t know where
to begin

Everything we had
was labyrinth
and riddle

jumbles of thread
to be cut

even if…

Vibrio



Found acceptance
unnoticed I enter
from prolific waters
to my liking 
warm
multitudes
me of millions
migrating muted & miscible
chance taken
this of a risk
of death of a maybe

nature never asked
if invasions were
allowed

nature doesn’t ask

you just have to be
ready

Two Daisies


Clouds were gathering above us grey as
death atmospheres inflating
swollen bellies overhead belching
violent wind gusts and rolling growls
We ran for cover at the
first feel of summer storm being
spit
sprayed down upon us

Sheltered by an awning on the
backside of the building
peeking out now and again
for any sign of the sun
Fell entranced at the sight of two
daisies in the sidewalk, Two
daisies in the crack of the
sidewalk being flooded

Two daisies doin’ fine just
excited there was rainfall just
ecstatic to be wet just a
joy to watch them playing

Stepping out beyond the awning
feeling every drop upon us we
held hands and lost our shoes
for a slow dance in the storm

Andromeda absorbing



Years from now
when vectors meet
seen & unseen
fissions & fusions
bouncing
colliding
distances entwined by
alien mathematics
and postulating

what will become…
I’ll want to live again
circling still
existence to existence
a part of the blend
an ingredient mite
or a virus strain
hopping host to host

I just want to see it
The courting of spirals
An ethereal voyeur
eying the dance
Andromeda absorbing
as it’s been foretold
Closing mind to the violence
… I won’t feel a thing

We’re already beautiful
but just wait…


(NASA/Swift/Stefan Immler(GSFC) and Erin Grand (UMCP))